Book Notes: Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck By Mark Manson - Part 1
"This is what is dangerous about a society that coddles itself more and more from the inevitable discomforts of life: we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain, a loss that disconnects us from the reality of the world around us."
'The subtle art of not giving a fuck' could not have landed in my hands at the perfect moment. It's so easy to turn on the news or open our social media feeds and feel the rush of 'fucks.' There are so many false facts, and opposing opinions disrupting our nucleus. To the majority, it feels like an episode of Black Mirror, where the executive branch is seizing the government and slashing away at our liberty. Sorry, that is actually happening.
It's becoming harder to discern what is important and what is not important. When to be outraged, when to be disappointed, or when to recognize hyperbole, thus move on from the topic. That's where this book has been useful.
According to Manson, these are some of the most common things people give way too many fucks about:
* Impressing other people
* Being right all the time
* Being "successful"
* Being pleasant and polite
* Being happy
* Feeling good all the time
* Being "perfect"
* Feeling secure and certain
“When we care too much about these things, we spend most of our time avoiding our problems rather than dealing with them. We start caring way too much about that new TV show, or how many likes we're getting on Facebook, or what our mother will think of our new house plant. These are bad values that turn us into frivolous people.”
These are the 3 subtleties that if appropriated can support your values and in turn point you towards what 'fucks' you should give.
Society encourages us to agree, and fit in with the tribe. We are taught early, the biggest sin to man is to stand out. Which brings us to SUBTLETY 1 “NOT GIVING A FUCK DOES NOT MEAN BEING INDIFFERENT; IT MEANS BEING COMFORTABLE WITH BEING DIFFERENT”
SUBTLETY 2 “TO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ADVERSITY, YOU MUST FIRST GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN ADVERSITY”
It is easy to get wrapped up in what is bringing us discomfort and negative emotions. However It is having something that is bigger than the current ‘woe-is-me’ moment, to remind us what is really important. Therefore pointing us back in the direction of what is really important.
There is always going to be something or someone that is going to demand our attention, we are reminded with SUBTLETY 3 “WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF FUCKS TO GIVE; PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE AND WHO YOU GIVE THEM TO”
"The desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of ones' negative experiences is itself a positive experience." - Alan Watts